Well, this week was a bit rough to be honest hahaha. I have just felt so so so so so alone and I have had so many sad thoughts running through my mind. So I have just been praying and praying and praying to feel comfort. And one night I just hit rock bottom and I don't know if I have ever prayed harder in my life. Then the next day I felt a little bit better, I can't even describe the feeling because it was just like blehhhh, but it was better than the night before so I just tried to let it go and be happy. Then a thought came to my mind, and it was a poem that one of the elders in my district read, called "He's Been There Before" by Elder Whittle. I won't put the whole thing in here but this is a part that really stood out to me:
My attention's towards my Savior, total and complete
He says, "Your mission is similar of what happened to me
I understand how you feel, I know what you're going through
In fact, it would be fair to say I've felt the same as you"
"I even know how you felt when no one listened to you
At times I felt not quite sure what else I could do
I know you don't like to ride a bicycle, for you a car would be sweet
Just remember the donkey I rode wasn't equipped with 21 speeds"
"I understand you don't like sweating, in fact it's something you hate
I remember when I sweat blood from ev'ry pore, oh the agony was great!
I see you don't like your companion- you'd rather have someone else-
I once had a companion named Judas who sold my life for wealth"
"It's hard to wear a helmet and have people make fun of you
I remember when they put thorns on my head and called me King of the Jews
So you feel burdened down by the weight of your pack
I recall how heavy the cross was when they slammed it on my back"
"Your hands hurt from tracting and knocking on doors all day
I guess when they pounded nails into mine, I ached in a similar way
It's hard not to hear from home when your family's not there to see
I lost communication on the cross and cried, "Father, why hast Thou forsaken me?"
I don't think it is possible to truly understand the Atonement in this life. But in that moment it was so clear to me that our Savior has truly felt it all. WE ARE NOT ALONE. I know it for a fact. Jesus Christ has felt every pain, every sorrow, every heartbreak. He knows what you are going through. And I am so honored to have this knowledge of my Savior and be able to make this sacrifice for him. He has been there before. He knows you.
Another super duper sweet thing I came across week was D&C 8:2-3
2 Yea, behold, I will tell you in your mind and in your heart, by the Holy Ghost, which shall come upon you and which shall dwell in your heart.
3 Now, behold, this is the spirit of revelation; behold, this is the spirit by which Moses brought the children of Israel through the Red Sea on dry ground.
We are exercising the same faith that Moses had as he parted the Red Sea and brought people through on dry ground. Now, not to burst your bubble but you might not be able to part the Red Sea. But I do know that when we are exercising our faith MIRACLES are possible.
Something that our First Counselor said this week was "You control your own weather" and that hit me hard. We have control over our thoughts and our actions. SO CREATE SUNSHINE. God will always reward the positive intentions of your heart and if you're not truly happy, then use the Atonement and truly become happy.
So Halloween is this week and my cutie companion shared this quote with our district:
"Coming unto Christ is much like being a pumpkin... God picks us from the patch, brings you in and washes all the dirt off of you then he cuts the top off and scoops out all the yucky stuff. He removes the seeds of doubt, hate and greed. Then he carves you a new face with a new smile and puts his light inside of you to shine for all the world to see!"
Okay now to not be so serious, the missionary world is such a different world hahahha. Like imagine the heartache you feel when you commit a horrible sin, I feel that when I sing a High School Musical song or when I wake up at 6:31 or when I don't open the door for someone or when I waste food. THE MISSION CHANGES YA. hahahhaa. We also had Christmas this week for some odd reason and sang Christmas songs and everyone wore red and green so that was weird hahahha. Also on Halloween Hermana Bower, Marilyn and I have fishing wire so we are going to tie the spider onto fishing wire and pull it across the walk way when it gets dark. PLUS we are staying up until 10:35 and we are going to dress up as each other by switching name tags. So if those are not the most exhilarating Halloween plans you've ever heard of I don't know what are!
Oh p.s. I have been so sick this week hahaha NyQuil is literally my best friend. I have been coughing like a man and it is a little bit scary hahahaha.
This is my last week at the MTC! I am so sad but so excited to serve the people of Argentina! And I am PRAYING that Aubrey Herrera will be my trainer. I love the MTC with all of my heart. I am going to miss it so so so so much. It's so crazy that I used to drive past this building everyday with no second thought and now it's my favorite place ever. I am so grateful to be a part of this amazing work! I LOVE THIS GOSPEL AND I LOVE YOU. Remember who you are and remember to create sunshine! And remember to not do drugs or think bad thoughts or gossip. And if ya scared, go to church.
Hermana J Sizzle
Love my cute district!
I love elder Ortiz! We went to junior high together, so preshhhh
Asian Power at the -_-
Love these fellas with my whole heart!
My faves! This is Elder Moore, he gave me all of his medicine because im sick hahaha
The good goods from papa J